Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
