We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
