bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
