my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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