If i come over, it means nothing
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
