I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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