i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
