who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
