all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
