Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
