When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
