How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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