porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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