so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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