Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
