My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
