I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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