I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
