hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
