Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
