I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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