i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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