Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she told me i tasted like america
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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