Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
