Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
