Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
