Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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