I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
