Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize