But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
