if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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