its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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