doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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