it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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