She is in my trunk
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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