Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
