good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
