ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize