i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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