She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
