i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize