So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
