I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
