Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
