i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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