doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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