Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
