i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
