she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
