I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
