Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
