Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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