He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
50% drunk capacity currently
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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