P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
