She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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