last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
