Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The Olympian is in my bed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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