sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
