I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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