Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
