babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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