Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize