I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
