Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
