it was like eating out sand paper
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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