Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
