..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
