I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her facebook's as public as her vagina
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
