He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Vodka?
Forever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
